vision board

Yes I have to admit I shed some real tears over this one... and it caught me by surprise. For weeks since my 40th I have been procrastinating on updating my vision board. I really thought it was laziness. It turns out I was avoiding this- this feeling, this reality, this emotional response. I started this particular board shortly after graduating from seminary in 2008 and although I have added to it periodically, I haven't taken a close look at it in well over a year. Today I did. I almost wish I hadn't because I cried. I cried because my vision board felt more like a place where my dreams went to die rather than a source of hope and motivation. Now to be clear, I have a good life and I have been blessed in a number of ways over the past few years. Yet there are many things I have prayerfully anticipated that have not shown up. Some of those things are small things and others are huge life-changing things, but that's not why I cried. I cried because I realized that absolutely NOTHING and I do mean NOTHING on my vision board has come to pass. It was shocking. And please spare me the "maybe these were your plans and not God's plans" speech because every picture on my board represents a promise that was grounded in prayer.

It's pretty ironic though given that my gift to the body of Christ is my ability to help others tap into and articulate a vision for their lives and/or organization. I also understand that the enemy hits you hardest in the area related to how God has called you to serve. I get it. I'm just not sure how much longer I'm going to  find the irony of all of this very funny.