Walking in It
I hope you had a fabulous weekend, I know I did. This weekend I had the incredible privilege of participating in the Women's Conference at Reid Temple AME Church. This also was my first time taking my new natural do on the ministerial road. I must admit that I was a little nervous about it since I had longer hair the last time I preached. Even though it may seem frivolous to some, I wasn't quite sure I would feel like myself. To tell the truth I didn't feel like myself, I felt brand new. Why? Because I had to walk in courage, confidence, and the fullness of who I am as a woman- afro puff and all. I was already fighting anxiety about being outside of my comfort zone. Since I was outside of my usual (and incredible) circle of preacher girlfriends, I had a few concerns about being the only person not personally connected in friendship and relationship with the other preachers (although everyone I encountered was wonderful!). Of course knowing this elicits some anxiety about being respected and accepted, particularly because of my youthful appearance. That being said, I really had no time, energy, or room to be worried about my hair.
This weekend I was reminded that I have to be willing to walk through my open doors alone. My girlfriends encouraged and celebrated my opportunity, and carrying their love in my heart helped me to walk tall this weekend. But ultimately I had to keep my eyes on God and know who I am regardless of anyone else's perceptions. In the end the experience helped me develop a new appreciation for the uniqueness of my individuality and my new hair. And isn't it our own appreciation for ourselves that we really need the most anyway?