Time

Happy Saturday! I write this from my couch in my pjs under my fuzzy blanket where I have been for the last two days since returning from my most recent round of travel. It has always seemed exciting to me to be in this city one minute and that city the next, but the reality of that fantasy has me utterly exhausted.

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Last week I was privileged to present to pastors and ministers in the Ninth Episcopal District of the AME Church in Alabama. It was awesome, and what was shared was well-received. The warm weather and even warmer hospitality made me actually consider not returning home. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there. Two days later I was back on a plane heading to Ohio to participate on a committee for a doctoral defense. That too was exciting because I love being in an academic environment. I was so honored to be invited. Now that I am home, the fatigue of my travels has caught up to me and I'm finding it impossible to get off the couch. I so badly want to jump back into business as usual, but my body is demanding that I give her time to regroup.

The truth is that it's not so different when it comes to your mind and your soul. In the weeks leading up to my travel, I encountered some conflict and challenges that I found particularly difficult. I soldiered through weathering the storm, and I thought I could just pick up where I left off. It wasn't until I got home and wanted to turn my attention to sermon prepping for Good Friday that I realized it's just not that simple. I told a friend that I just haven't been able to hear from God despite sitting in quiet solitude for days. My friend reminded me that oftentimes we experience things that we sweep under the rug. We keep pushing forward thinking everything is okay when it isn't. We may be able to fool our minds, but the body and the spirit will always force you to be truthful about your emotional and spiritual location. She said I just needed to give myself some time, a few more days maybe. 

It sometimes seems and even feels selfish to take time- to mend, to be restored, to be okay again. Yet it is necessary to make sure the trials of life grow you rather than make you lose your mind. Tomorrow I will return to worship, work, and conference calls after two weeks of travel and one Sunday hiatus, but not before spending just one more afternoon in my pjs under my fuzzy blanket.