#DRNAT2018

Happy New Year! Well kind of because it's already February and surprisingly I don't need a do-over...yet. Give me time though and I'm sure I will want to hit the reset button.

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So much has happened in the short span of time that has been 2018 thus far. I traveled to the other side of the world and had an amazing, scary, and beautiful experience in Israel Palestine. I was sick the entire time with no use of my voice yet somehow shared my voice with an interfaith group of amazing women. It's shameful that I haven't written about it yet. I will at some point, but I guess I am still processing and I need more time. I came back and spent another week in bed before I could return to my duties at church because I was a) so jet lagged and b) still without my voice. I did go back just in time to assist with a run of funerals, teach a few bible studies, and jump back into administration and planning.

And while I have returned to the same house, the same spouse, the same church, and the same ministry role, I have returned very different. Everyone said that my trip would change me, but when it wasn't immediately apparent I thought I'd somehow missed something I was supposed to get. Then as life continued, I started to notice small changes that spoke to a really huge change within. A new iteration of myself is still emerging and it is interesting to watch. I mean I've always owned my space (at least in recent years), but my way of showing up is slightly more resolute than it was before. Perhaps the difference isn't in how I own my space but what space I see as mine to own. I think and speak about my work in ways that point to owning more of the things I do as a part of my ministerial identity and not just what's in my prescribed role.

Perhaps the difference isn't in how I own my space but what space I see as mine to own.

I have come to think of this weird and seismic shift as letting the old iteration of Rev. Gadson die a peaceful death to allow room for Dr. Nat to fully emerge. I know these changes won't be comfortable for many, but I must say that I'm pretty interested and kind of excited to see the impact of this new way of being.